On a Day Like Today

Days like this make me question almost everything.

Now, let me first state that I know that God also refered to by me as Heavenly Father,  is kind and wants to bless us as often as possible, and is NOT an angry or vengeful God.

However, days like today that mean and negative voice pulls at my ear, taunting me. Teasing me, telling me that how could He love me and still allow all these negative thing occur in my life?

Am I being punished for not being my best and most perfect self? Am I an awful mother because my children both had multiple meltdowns today? How could a God that loves me take away my partner?-My personal link to sanity on days like today where everything and everyone (especially my children) seems to be against me?

After a day like today it only further cements my belief that if at all possible children should be raised in a two parent household.  This is more for the parents sake than for the children's.

On days like today, Chase would come home after having listened to me vent my frustrations about the childrens' actions and that in and of itself made a world of difference but he would also come home and tag me out so to speak. I could do something novel, like use the bathroom in peace! or be given the opportunity to run go do my visiting teaching without having to find a sitter or go to the store for the string cheese that Henry has been begging for all day.  

But what do you do when that's not an option? How does one cope when its just them and that helpmate isn't there anymore? - This applies to single parents everywhere, whether it was by divorce, abandonment, death etc. What can we do to keep our sanity? And how can we feel our Father in Heaven's influence and love when by the time the kids are FINALLY asleep in bed, all you can do is lay in your own bed and weep?