{This was one of the last songs Chase sent me on spotify and he would sing this line to me over and over as obnoxiously as possible.}
It seems just like any other day since his passing but different somehow.
Get up get Grace off to school, take Henry to a follow up appointment for a recent surgery. I am happy to announce that he is ear infection free at the moment and the doctor says its the best he has EVER seen his ears looking in the whole time he has been his ENT. After the doctor we had to swing by the mechanic then back home to make lunch for the kids and get Grace off to her second preschool of the day. Grace seems a little off today. She in fact asked if she could please stay home from her second school and just sleep. She is sad today but I know she will do much better if she stays busy and goes to school. Henry is a little grouchy, he's running a low fever and very clingy.
Typical everyday. The only difference is Chase isn't here.
I do have a counseling appointment this evening and then an appointment with my bishop. I feel like even though my world has continued in its everyday, everything is different. As I was driving home from my morning errands the radio was on, that is something I am slowly trying to ease myself back into, music can heal but it also can hurt. Back to the radio, the radio was on and the song on the radio talked about how things would never be the same again, but of course in a more lyrical way. That's how I feel. I will never be the same again.
I understand how people say that they can't live without someone but how realistic is that? You can't will your heart to stop beating although sometimes you wish it would. That is the problem with a heart, it continues on even though one of its main reasons for beating has ceased but there are those other reasons, children, parents, friends etc that make it keep beating.
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